Chinese Dating 101

By Trisha Cowen
July 17, 2008

On the way to the Summer Palace, our tour guide Rock gave us another interesting lesson. This time, it was on the history of Chinese dating.

During the 1970's and 1980's, Rock said, if a man wished to marry a specific girl, he would give her a watch, a bicycle, and a sewing machine even if she thought she was too pretty to sew. The sewing machine was a sign of luxury. During the 1980's-1990's, more and more people began to do business so the expectations for gifts increased. This time, Rock said the girl would expect a refrigerator, a black-and-white TV, and a brick cell phone for calling and protection purposes as it is large enough to knock out any enemy. As time passed, girls expected more as salaries increased. In the late 1990's and 2000's, Rock said girls expected an apartment, a motor bike, and, of course, a diamond ring.

Rock is 32 years old and still searching for that special girl. He said he "lost a lot of opportunities" because he mistakenly thought that a wedding band was worn on the middle finger. Plus, he said, he does not have the money to give the gifts that girls expect now. To get a pretty girl, he would need to give her a car, preferably one that says BMW on the back bumper, which Rock said stands for 'be my wife.' Then he would have to get her "an apartment for living and a house for enjoying life." To top it all off, she would expect a large diamond ring in all its splendor. You also need to be handsome to get through to a pretty girl these days, even if you have money.

 Rock taught us the steps to show us how China has changed and how the country went through modernization after the open-door policy was initiated. He said "if you make something and put it in a jar for long time. The jar open, jar is broken and society very massive. If you let come out in daily life, let them develop and grow..." This is a great way to describe China before and after opening up. Flowers open in different ways and at different times.

After our very essential lesson, a few of the women talked with Rock to give him some flirting tips of their own. He seemed very receptive yet needed some practice on the execution. He did not get much time to practice. Some Emerson students introduced him to a nice girl at dinner. She happened to be named Pebble. Is that destiny with a little push or what?