Results tagged “mustache ride” from SPRG09JR608 Interactive News Matthew Tempesta

The Total Transformation Program

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Are you tired of your children acting like a little shits?  Are they constantly arguing with you in black and white?

Then hand them over to this man:

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This is Dr. James "The Stache" Lehman, and he has what it takes to whip your beloved little shits into shape.

Now I know what you're thinking, "Didn't I see him on www.familywatchdog.us?"

Yes it's true. But Dr. James has completely changed his ways. Pay no attention to the massive "molester mustache", Dr. James is here to help.

Using the power of the stache', Dr. James will have your kids bending over backwards to please you. Dr. James will utilize his patented treatment called "Negative Mustache Ride  Reinforcement."

Just one month with the threat of a  Dr. James mustache ride looming overhead will have even the worst behaved kids begging to scrub dishes and rake the leaves. Dr. James can cure A.D.D., depression and even severe mental disorders such as schizophrenia. 

Yes folks, there's hardly an ailment out there that won't disappear thanks to Negative Mustache Ride Reinforcement. 

It's so easy. Simply drop your children off at Dr. Jame's Mobile Behavioral Treatment Van, pay the $750 tuition, ignore that horrible sinking feeling in your stomach and in mere weeks you're child will be transformed from an outgoing, opinionated little asshole, into a despondent, zombie-like stranger.

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Act now though, because there's only so much room to go around in Dr. Jame's treatment van.

Thanks Dr. James!