To Work Or Not to Work....is that really a question?

A Job. Apparently you have to have one. The world seems to operate on this elaborate system involving the exchange of goods and services for money. So there you go. I need a job.

But here's the problem, I'm not good at jobs. The workforce and I are like two magnetic north poles. We repel.

Let me preface this by explaining that, while I may not be very good at keeping a job, I have a certain knack for finding them. In my short time as a functioning (we'll use this term loosely) member of the workforce I've had more jobs than the average person. Many more.

Allow me to clarify. Most of these "jobs" (this term is to be used more loosely still) had the shelf life of take-out sushi. Read: they didn't last much past a day and a half.

Below, I present you with an abridged list of the various jobs I have held since high school:

·       Salesperson at Abercrombie & Fitch- awful place to shop. Worse place to work. Time endured: 1 afternoon.

·       Salesperson at Zumiez- sold snowboards and skate shoes to pimply adolescents and their parents. Time endured: 2 weeks. Had to quit, couldn't stand extremely overbearing boss imploring me to "make friend with my customers" anymore. I don't want to chat about good charlotte and tony hawk with 15 year olds. I want to go home.

·       Caterer- I found that I didn't really relish serving canapés to snotty wedding guests over my summer vacation. Also, I kept dropping trays. Time endured: about once a week for 2 months. Record time. Quit before boss caught on to just where all that missing wine was flowing. In my general direction.

·       Secretary at Dermatology Practice- filing records, making appointments, that old hat. Time endured: one winter break. After which I was fired. By the doctor. MY FATHER. Apparently catching a few Z's in the filing stacks not included in job description? Very sad time for family.

·       Server at Greek Restaurant- served spanakopitas and gyros for a summer. Time endured: almost an entire summer. Until I was fired. For not showing up because I was shopping. Who knew? (Side note: this disgruntled boss is the father of a close friend. Bridges: meet Alex and her can of lighter fluid).

I also once worked at Starbucks. Until my mother came in to purchase a Mochachinno prepared by her very own pride and joy. And was told that the Starbucks Corportation had never heard of me. After that, I didn't "work" there anymore. Hey, she was happily under the impression that I was gainfully employed while I spent my after-school hours at the beach. Up until then it was a win-win situation.

Trust me, this list could go on for pages. But this is a blog. So I'm keeping it concise. 

Needless to say, my track record is, well, spotty.

But it can only improve from here....right? Right?

I think I'll move to Australia.