Tax season is here! THAT means it's time to fill-out painstakingly difficult and befuddling forms, and try to remember when you "donated to charity" (Salvation Army bell-ringers, that's a write-off!), and what the hell you spent on rent this year. Then there's the added privilege of being a graduate student, because after you file your taxes, you file your FAFSA, which, by design, encourages the filer's suicide! And as if THAT wasn't all painful enough, finally, it is time for the financial aid application at your respective institution. BAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
I need a drink. Or maybe just a whack in the head to temporaily distract me from the dizzy confusion of the whole season.
And still, I've seen more way more labels on wine bottles than I have filled out tax forms, and tax forms, I hate to say it, make more sense.
If you're one of the many people who doesn't pick out wine because they don't know where to start, keep reading.
HUH?! Whaaa?
Where does it say what kind of wine is lurking behind that confusing French label? IT DOESN'T! If you're curious enough to try wine made in non-English dominated regions (which you should. They're great and sometimes cheaper), you're going to need a very tiny crash-course in deciphering these old, dusty, harder-than-IRSforms-to-understand, wine labels.
A good place to start, whether on a wine list or in the store, is to look around and figure out what country you're in. You're only going to find the above in "France" -- the french section of the wine list, or the section of the wine store marked FRANCE. If the seller doesn't even do you the favor of telling you the country, he or she probably doesn't deserve your business, but just ask them anyway. You've come too far to turn back.
Here's a better diagram than I could create in this blog:
http://www.wineloverspage.com/wines/labels.shtml, courtesy of the Wine Lovers Page.
It takes for granted that you know where "Hermitage" even is, but it's a good start in deciding what your dealing with for American wines. What kind of grape is the wine, where it's from, and what year is the info you're looking for (the latter is MOST important when price is a factor, and it probably is. You want to know in advance if you're ordering something older than you are).
Wines made in the US will (almost) always tell you the grape, because that's how people buy their wine. They know they want a pinot noir, or a chardonnay, and they rely on the label to tell them.
But in France, they don't make it so easy. That's because the locals know what area grows what wine: Bordeaux reds will alway be a blend of cabernet sauvignon, merlot, and cabernet franc (that's the wine in the picture); Burgundy only grows pinot noir (if it's red) or chardonnay (if it's white); and so on..
Americans, by in large, stole the grapes of France. So, that's the one heads-up you get when buying french wine: WE probably grow it in California, and have at least seen the grape pop-up on every wine list by-the-glass. In fact, you probably know more about french wine than you even realize, because we borrowed so much of their wine, in creating our own wine regions right here in ol' USA.
So, when looking at a label, the important factors are:
- Country, and region (it will list a state, and an appellation, or region, within that state).
- Varietal, or grape (if you don't see the grape listed, and you're not familiar with the region, just ask! I guarantee you that SOMEONE is getting paid to stand around and answer your questions. You don't want to buy a merlot, and pay good money for, by mistake, if that's not what you're looking for).
- Vintage, or year (buying a bottle of 2009 red wine from anywhere, in the year 2009, might not be a good idea. It hasn't had sufficient time to store yet -- and most producers wouldn't think of trying to peddle a wine that young).
When in doubt, I repeat, ASK!! The government doesn't expect us to decipher their silly, confusing documents without help. So why should we be expected to know what's in a bottle of wine without a little help?
We shouldn't. Ever. Happy filing. Happy sipping.
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