March 2009 Archives

She is a lovely woman and knows how to charm.  All my friends who meet her love her.  The thing is she loves them, but will turn around and not so subtly put me down.

For example, one of my friends would have a new hair cut.  She would say, "oh that is a lovely hair cut did you just get that honey?"  Afterwards, my mom would throw in "I don't know why Lucinda can't do anything with her hair, it's always the same."

Another example would be clothes.  "Oh that's a cute skirt where did you get it?  Because someone should help Lucinda.  She seriously dresses like a bumb."

Keep in mind most of my friends go with me to shop and we all shop at the same places.  The best was when one of my friends responded that the dress she had on was mine.

Oh mom.

My solution:  I don't have one.  When I finally come up with a way to make my mom stop those oh so subtle comments, I'll let you know.

                                                     Me and my mother!

If you are standing in a filled elevator, and you are the person standing in front of the doors, please step out of the elevator to let people off.

You would think this should be a known rule.  Apparently it isn't.  This is because a short white hair old man, I would say in his 70s, didn't do this and made me miss my floor because he wouldn't get out of my way.  Not even when I asked him to.

My solution: make people who don't move take the stairs.  I don't care if you are old and might suffer from heart problems, this would teach you to move when people need to get off of the elevator.

You might be asking how could she have done this?

Easy, she was talking loudly into her phone right next to me for the whole train ride.  Not once did she shut up.

Then I got to thinking what a bitch she was.  Now I understand that once in awhile when you get on a train you might have to make a call, but you don't stay on that call forever.

I have no desire to hear the love note you found at your boyfriend's house from his ex-girlfriend. Frankly, you're old and need to work out, if his ex is hotter I wouldn't blame him for cheating on you.

I know some people like hearing the misery of others, however, I could have cared less at this moment and I couldn't believe this woman wanted to have this conversation in front of strangers.

By the end of the train ride I felt so dirty I wanted a shower because obviously she had to complain about getting tested for an std.

Listen lady there are others on the train who need to read, and if you need to talk on the phone don't sit next to them.  It's rude and frankly I don't want to know what is going on in your messed up life.  And I'm not the only one who feels this way!

My solution: people like her should be subjected to my mom.  One hour listening to my mom blab on and on about the dullest things alive, like coupons, would make these people shut up forever! 

                                                              My Mom!