Sham Wow

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Vince.

Vince is part man, part headset, and all salesman.

When it comes to selling crap, Vince is at the top of the heap. Rumor has it Vince once sold a 2-year subscription to Playboy to Pope John Paul II, and his holiness couldn't even read English!

You know Vince is legit because of the state-of-the-are black headset he uses. This enables him to communicate directly to the Sham Wow scientists just in case something goes awry.

Now as for the Sham Wow, this is one incredible product. It's made by the Germans and according to Vince's sweeping racial generalizations, "The Germans always make good stuff."

I'll take 17!

At around 40 seconds in, Vince conducts one of the greatest cola experiments of all time. An entire  half cup of cola is spilled onto a 6 inch by 6 inch piece of carpet. (For those of you who live in studio apartments, this is for you.) The Sham Wow actually absorbs all that cola. Even the camera man can hardly believe it. This is truly amazing. It leaves the tiny piece of carpet "Virtualy droy awn the bawttom!" (Apparently Vince hails from the deepest darkest recesses of Long Island)

Listen people. You're going to be wasting $20 a year on paper towels. I mean, this Sham Wow sells itself. Think of all the new porn you'll be able to afford with the money you'll save.

But beware of Sham Wow imitators. Products like the Sham Whoa, the Sham No Way and the Sham Holy Crap! have been duping buyers for years. Accept no imitations, the Sham Wow is the real deal.

You can use it for anything:
-drying your arm
-cleaning up cola spills
-drying your pet
-drying your foot
-absorbing hard to clean blood stains
-removing  incriminating bodily fluids
-and it's even used by Olympic Divers!

I'll take 300!