The Sonic Blade

Finally! A product that actually makes some freaking sense! Meet the Sonic Blade. 

Let's look at seven seconds in. I can't tell you how many Thanksgivings I've ruined by ripping apart a whole turkey with my bare hands. Who knew cutting food could actually be this easy!

What an age we live in. I thought the CD-ROM  
was as far as man could advance technologically, but I was wrong. Non-compression sonic separation technology is the wave of the future.

I think the strange lady who appears in this infomercial for exactly .34 seconds said it best when she said, "Wow."

Goodbye knives and bare hands. Hello Sonic Blade! You can virtually cut through anything with this bad boy. Fruits, vegetables, meats....fruits....meats.... and the hardest thing in the world to cut...... angel food cake??

This is one hell of a product. You may not know it, but the Sonic Blade was actually designed with Fred Flintstone and Shaggy from Scooby Doo in mind. The makers of the Sonic Blade sought to create a life where giant sandwiches and massive slabs of ribs could be enjoyed with ease and safety.

 
                                                                                                                                                     
Oh, and the best part about the Sonic Blade? It's battery powered.Which means no miles ofwires to tangle with, which means that this guy will never appear in your kitchen.



Plus it comes with this awesome fro pick so you can look good while you cut things.
 









Oh and pay no attention to those miscreants at Cuisinart or Black & Decker.



Thanks Sonic Blade!