March 2009 Archives

Who you going to call? 

Ghostbusters!

And how are they going to do it?

By staging a perfect montage.

Cue Montage:

Alessi's "Saving the Day" sums up what the Ghostbusters are trying to accomplish in this montage.  It kind of sounds like soft-core porn music doesn't it?

The city has been over run by goblins, ghouls, ghosts and Sigourney Weaver.

Like conquering heroes, the Ghostbusters bust on the scene and are ready to take action against any terrorist, foreign, domestic or supernatural.

But all hell breaks loose, the montage's music is stopped and the Ghostbusters seem to been in a little bit of pickle. 

Will our fearless leaders be doomed?  Will evil prevail?  Are the Ghostbusters dead?  Will this montage continue?  Am I going to stop posing questions like this?

Whew, that was close.  The montage continues at 3:37 and disaster is avoided for a bit.  Just for team spirit the Busters put their hands in and say, "Win one for the Gipper."

O they don't.  My bad.  Think I'm a little tired considering it's 2:30 am.  Good Night and Good Luck.

So you meet this wonderful woman and there is an instant connection.  What's the first thing that happens?

Yup.  Montage.

Lt. Frank Drebin, played by Leslie Nielsen, goes on one date with Jane Spencer, played by Priscilla Presley, in The Naked Gun and immediately love is in the air.

Cue montage:

This kind of humor is what I'm all about.  I mean how great is the full body condom scene at the beginning of the clip.

Herman Hermits "I'm Into Something Good" is a great song for this.  It really captures that feeling you get when you first meet someone.  Look at these guys the girls love them.

What a great date.  All in one day Frank and Jane go to the beach, get cotton candy, get matching tattoos, have a ketchup and mustard fight, participate in a rodeo, ride on a ship, see Platoon and clothesline a couple in the water. 

This is how I want to meet my wife.  I will hold out until I find a girl that does all of these things in one day with me.

I'm sorry I still can't get over the full body condom thing.  Pure genius. 

That's the best date montage I've seen. 

Need to clean something or fix something up? 

Then a montage is all you need. 

Check out this montage in Revenge of the Nerds set to "One Foot in Front of the Other" by Bone Symphony.

Have a look.  Cue montage:

Pretty good huh?  It took a bunch of nerds two minutes to clean up and restore a house, imagine what they could do with five.

These guys should restore run down pieces of shit all over the country and make a killing in these economic times.

This is a typical cleaning montage where we see what the object is that needs cleaning, then the characters all give each other the head nod and the cleaning begins.  Usually there is a fast motion clean involved somewhere and at the end the object looks amazing.  The guys who wrote this montage clearly knew what they were doing, they probably invented the cleaning montage.  (Note:  Don't quote me on that.)

I'm going to find Booger's shirt that says, "Give Me Head Till I'm Dead." That's classic. 

This has been a Mark Praetsch selection, www.poneandstach.com coming soon to an internet server near you.